i feel like eating potato chips.

ok, random. Went out with Novea yesterday. Had sushi buffet. I think, I hate sushi buffets. I don't fancy sushi rice as much as I fancy the rest of the food. Kept picking raw salmon off the sushi and hiding sushi rice inbetween plates because Novea kept reminding me of the extra charge for wastage of food.

Gahh. Didn't do anything much, there was nothing nice to shop.So we just talked and walked, then sit down to rest before going through the whole damn process again. Novea bought me a jacket from taiwan! It doesn't look like PJs! Thank you very much Novea-chan, I'm wearing them now.

Went to meet Fairuz at taka after that, to check out some Oops! Equipment. (Hi Calcium, YOU'RE INEFFICIENT! bleah. ) Met up with Hakim, Jasmine and her collegues for dinner, which was abit awkward.

After that, Fairuz treated me to a movie! Charlie Bartlett, nice one, I like. The guy was rather cute, in a "I'm a goody-two shoes" way.

Anyway, we cabbed down to Mustafa after that! I didn't know that place was 24/7!? The taxi ride was a lil freaky thou, caz the cab driver was a lil mental and he kept shouting in the cab, feeling angst about his bankruptcy and having to pay 95bucks daily for the cab. He was telling us that the only time when cab-drivers need not pay the 'rent' is when they get into an accident and asked us if we wanted that. Scary.

Yupp, Mustafa is like flooded with people, at 12midnight. We bought a calculator that print receipts and checked out some printers. I bought a set of portable speakers. Bought the 29bucks one caz it looked cool and the description was totally misleading about its capablity to act as a DVD player. I'm using it at the shop now and wth, it runs on batteries, and the DVD player thing is a total bullshit. Should have bought the 9.90 one which could at least act as an ipod stand.

We ended our shopping at Mustafa by buying the same Puma bag. I didn't think much when buying which is totally stupid of me, but the bag is so pretty and I like it even more now caz my laptop fits in.

This is a totally messy and wordy entry. Whatever, I'll just post up pictures when I'm home.

Btw, Rachael Yamagata is love.
Not that I'm lesbian, it's just her voice that's so sexy and all. Like Cobbie Caliat.

kenkenpi @ 12:22 PM

Ok that was a retarded post. I just got lazy typing an entry and those words sumed up what's been going on for the past week.

Thou, today is public holiday and I went out with Samantha. But everywhere was flooded with people and the whole shopping mood died on the spot when I arrived at Harbourfront MRT station.

kenkenpi @ 9:16 PM

kenkenpi @ 8:52 PM

The Little Things
Colbie Cailat

The little things, you do to me are
Taking me over, i wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
My feet are stuck here, against the pavement
I wanna break free, i wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by

So back up back up take another chance
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin
If im better off better off, with out you boy

And every time, you notice me by
Holdin me closely, and sayin sweet things
I don't believe, that it could be
You speekin your mind and, sayin the real thing
My feet have broke free, and i am leavin
I'm not gonna stand here, feelin lonely but
I dont regret it, and i don't think it
Was just a waste of time

So back up back up take another chance
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin
If im better off better off, with out you boy

don't just leave me hangin on
don't just leave me hangin on

kenkenpi @ 3:58 PM

hello. im lazy to blog these days.

There was this bracelet that I like from leather ark. Its actually rather hideous when you look closely, but the colors are soooo pretty! It kinda cramps my style but i like...




Anyway, work is so boring tt im dressing up whenever i go work. I don't even dress like that when I go out. But maybe I will next time.

k, look at my beautiful shop, with only one salesgirl - me. It bugs me when customers or people I know ask how I can cope alone in the shop.

The only problems I have working alone is the boredom and the holding of my bladder for too long.

kenkenpi @ 9:38 AM

kenkenpi @ 10:40 PM

I never knew how effective and helpful Panadols can be, but it helped with the toothache ALOT so I love Panadols now. haha.

Took this test from beefy's blog. It's quite accurate.

What Ying Ying Means

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

kenkenpi @ 9:38 PM

If you've noticed,I haven been using this particular word for quite a long time. But I can't help but use it now.

Fuck.
The fucking wisdom tooth is hurting so much that its causing me to tear. I cant even smile properly. And its fucking ruining my moood.

kenkenpi @ 10:51 PM

My dad handed me two letters from school today. One when I woke up in the mrng and the other when I just reached home from work.

The first letter was about my sucessful application to the Specialist Diploma in Digital Flim and TV so I was wondering what the second letter was. Laughed out loud when I saw this:

Dear Student

We regret to inform you that you have not passed your French I /German I /Korean I /Japanese I/II/III language module assesments, nor have at least 75% attendance.

As a result, you will not be entitled to receive a certificate nor CCA points normally awarded to those who register for the foreign language programme.

Yours faithfully
Raquel Gochioco (Ms)
Section Head In-Charge
Foreign Language Programme
School of Communication, Arts and Social Sciences

LOL. I kinda expected to fail, but I never expect them to mail me a letter about it, not give me the CCA points and not offering a re-test or something, which they should. But yeah, whatever.

Almost died on my way home. Was sitting on the upper-deck of bus 9 when there was this incredibly strong stench irritating my nose. Sitting infront of me was an old man raising his left arm and scratching his armpit with glee. Was totally disgusted when he was happy with one side and moved onto the other arm. Turned my head to the right, and there was a granny sitting with one leg crossed over the other, the naked sole of her bare feet proudly pointed in my direction. And to top things up, I had two sweaty soccer boys sitting directly behind me, plus someone on the bus had a box of rojak somewhere on the bus.

I never want to eat rojak again, or at least for 3months.

Anyway, I was supposed to go my mum's side after work but I kinda forgot while I rushed towards my own house's lift. There was a blangah chatting happily with his gf on the phone with loud speakers. The lift came and he let me go in myself since he needed some 'privacy' and he had a bicycle with him. The lift was going up when I rmbered where I was supposed to go to and I quickly got out of the lift at the 6th floor and waited for the other lift to bring me down. Knowing the blangah was still waiting for the lift and I didn't want to embarass myself, I took ouy my hp, pretended I was on a call and dashed out of the lift as if it was an emergency. The blangah grinned at me while the lonely uncles that were playing chess stared at me. I think I made myself more embaressed.

kenkenpi @ 10:18 PM

Caught another movie yesterday. I think I've watched like 10 over movies just this year already?

Anyway, had loads of fun with nicole. I think we just met the other day for movie and dinner too but yesterday's meet up was just hilarious. Can't rmb what we did and talked about but we just laughed non-stop.

We ate Fish & Co (without Jessie) and watched Fool's Gold (without Jasmine). In the end I missed all my last bus from tampines mall and stayed over nicole's place.

I'm amused by how close Nicole and I are, considering that we were just CCA mates.

kenkenpi @ 1:37 PM

I'm grateful that:

1. I'm not born handicap.
2. I have parents.
3. I have friends.
4. I have a house to live in.
5. I have good food to eat.
6. I have places I want to go.
7. I have a sense of humour.
8. I joined DMC and Oops.
9. I'm able to smile and make friends.
10. I'm sane.
11. I've not met anyone who are mean enough to want to hurt me.
12. I have people who I care about and care for me.
13. I was born in a country with compulsary education.
14. I've not contracted any terrible illness or disease.
15. I joined Leather Ark.
16. My mother and I don't quarrel anymore.
17. My father's not abusive, alcoholic or sick in the head.
18. I've not ruined my life by commiting crimes (except for littering).
19. I have a computer to use.
20. For whatever things I can't rmb to be thankful for.


I need a slice of rich chocolate cake.

Oh, nicole's sister just greeted me so enthusiastically. I love that kid man.

kenkenpi @ 2:50 PM

I kept hitting the delete key when I'm blogging.

There are so many things going through my mind these days and today was the worst. Thoughts just kept flashing and flashing in my mind. The problems I had with myself and my life just reappeared again. I realised I've never moved on from those terrible times. It's just that the past year, had became so eventful that they got burried under layers and layers. But just a innocent chat with my bosses today led my mind to unstrip those layers.

I don't even know how this entry is lead and end. Everytime I think of something to blog, it doesn't come out exactly the same as it should have been. The contents of my entries are not original, often editted and forgotten deliberately. I'm not sure if its caz those thoughts are so personal that I'm so protective of them or if I'm just trying to hide away the ugliness of it all.

But I'm really trying to type out most of what came to mind today.

So, Jean and John was asking me to visit the church with my sister today. They said it was good to have faith in God and it would make yourself feel a whole lot better, blah blah blah. I'm still unwilling, my excuse is that I'm unable to commit and I've not found that faith in God. Growing up from a catholic school, I honestly believe there is a God. Yet, I don't believe in God. Sure, I rmb praying to God for help when I was younger. But I don't know what happened that got me to stop having that belief. Maybe it's caz I haven exactly seen God at work, there's no real thing there for me to believe in. Like Jean said, I'll only have the faith if I asked God to give me a sign or miracle to believe in him.I once prayed "God, if you're really true, pls help me find my watch." I don't know if those silly prayers worked but I've heard many stories from people around me about how life took a better turn when they had something to believe in and I seriously considered joining my sister, espeacially when my family got so screwed up. But I never did and I don't understand why I'm having such a struggle with it.

I'm thinking,I'll have the faith if God turn me less weird and more normal. I'll believe and worship if he take away those family problems. But being greedy, I'll ask for more even if he made all my dreams come true. Besides, that sounds more like despicable bribery.

(Oh yes, Ying's having that big contradicting theory of hers again...)

Things started to get wild in my head and I started to recall about my past 17years of living.

(I've always thought that my life would be a great melo-dramatic fanfic if I exaggerate it with an antagonist character and spice it up with some heart-trobbing love affair charming black knight.)

Life had been very pleasant throughout my childhood years. It was secondary 1 and 2 when my world was very lonely and cold. I don't dare to rmb much of those two years but it was the around the end of Secondary 2 and start of Secondary 3 when I suddenly changed and became this sociable and smiling girl. I made friends easily, I smiled at everybody and nightmares of the previous year had led me to keep friends as the my most important assets.

My family, on the other hand took a steep plunge into a blackhole after moving house. Dad's problems got more serious and intolerable while Mum and I quarrelled practically everynight over my studies and all. Back then, i was cheerful infront of my friends at school and crying under my blanket at night. That was probably the darkest period of my life. Up til now, Im suprised I'm not suffering from depression despite the couple of times I've thought of seeking for help from a counsellor before I start to do something stupid and end my life.

Once O'levels ended, Mum and I didn't argued as frequently. But Dad's issues got out of hand and she finally moved out of the house. Honestly,life was much easier and light without my mum's constant watch. Also, because I spent most of my time outside, working at Leather Ark. But Dad still couldn't be satisfied with the amount of money he had in his pocket, caused more trouble and started to ask me for money.

I entered poly and you all probably know the rest. I thought life was better. But I seriously doubt so now. Sure, life is cool when I'm out and all. But I really miss my mum even though she lives so nearby. Considering how bad my relationship with my mom had been, I'll never admit to her that. Initially, she would call and ask me to go over to her side and visit her because she miss me. But a few months later, she would call only when she wanted me to do something and I'll go over only when she wanted me to get something.

I don't have a very close relationship with my family members. My sister and I hardly speak to each other and I'm always afraid to pick up my dad's phonecalls, worried that he would be asking me for money.I'm not sure if I've gave up hoping that he would change for the better or if I've simply just got used to it. He cares for us sometimes,but its hard to keep telling yourself that he truely cares and not because he wants a favour.

Life's definetly happier and peaceful now compared to secondary school times. But you can't help but wonder if its really good when you're family is still so screwed up. Im envious of those who share a close relationship with their family and I don't feel comfortable seeing people without friends. Ironically, I'm guilty of causing someone to be 'friendless'. But being a selfish idiot, I never extended any help no matter how sympathetic and guilty i was.

I'll wake up the next mrng feeling better anyway so there was really no need to blog. But typing all these just help me realise that whatever I tell myself is probably a huge lie itself. I always tell myself to think of the positive and negative side of things. I don't know if Im just doing all these to make myself feel better or to make myself seem less ugly. I'm not a completely honest person but I try to be as honest to everybody as I can be. Yet, its getting to me whether I'm even honest to myself. Maybe the honesty that I've been putting on my lips every now and then is a big lie itself and I'm such a good liar that I don't even know it myself.

It's like I'm digging up all the problems that I've had when I was still in secondary school, realising I've never resolved any of them.

(I just can't love my current life and had to go look for something to torture myself.)

I'm giving myself a senseless headache now, ta.

kenkenpi @ 10:58 PM

Some singaporeans are so rude.

A lady was trying on the 40% shoes and I was at a corner of the shop packing some things. She needed some assistance and...


Gahh. It's not as if we're close friends and she want to share with me some dirty secret. Don't she knows how to use the words "Excuse me?". To think she's even an office-class woman. Psst. Makes me feel as if Im an insect and she's like some insecticide. Psst!!

Anyway I'm laughing over this conversation I had with my sister the other day. (Btw, she's in Nanyang JC and you should see her in her brown uniform which totally blends in with her skin color. lol.)



Im like omg, my sister shut me up! And she says it like im so ignorant. It's such a shock that my sister knows better when she doesn't read as much books and watch as much shows as me, not to mention that she has never been interested in any guys, girls, celebrities. Although I rmb she had a boyfriend when she was 5yrs old,she doesn't rmb that thou. Poor boy.

But yeah, maybe my mum was right to suspect that my sister has more friends than me.

kenkenpi @ 4:24 PM

K, I've used my temporary template. Famliliar? It's the same template as my trampledconfessions site. It's like my simplest and favourite blogskin caz I never get sick of it.

Anyway I had loads to blog today caz I was feeling kinda emo at work, without my laptop adapter and my jacket.

So, tmr then I blog la.

kenkenpi @ 12:37 AM

i want a new blog template...

k anyway...i forgot what i wanted to blog caz my grandma is like shouting away at my sister for wasting toilet paper. like lol, of all things, toilet paper.

Ok yesterday before i left the office, i took pictures to keep a memory of this two-day job.


This is the phone with the most irritating and childish ring I've ever heard.


And the this was my job on the first day:

1. take an envelope


2. cross out the old address


3. position the stupid stamp


4. stamp it!


This was what I did while I got sick of doing my job:

Stretching my neck to watch channel news asia.



And on the 2nd day, I...

had a laptop to use!


Alright, I seriously have no life.

kenkenpi @ 10:06 PM